Happy to be Nappy...Sort of

Most people that know me are aware of the fact that I could start my own United Nations with the different nationalities that make up my DNA. What I find quite irritating is the constant feeling of having to prove my Blackness, Latinaness, Whiteness, or Native Americanness to people. I was in court (for work) one day and was having a conversation about hair with some of the other women who work there. I had mentioned that I needed to find a hair salon because I was due for a relaxer soon and my hair was getting nappy. This one woman almost fell out of her chair the minute the words left my mouth. She said, "Oh please! Do you hear her? Her hair is nappy?! I'm not even talking to you anymore." Now, this was the first time she had ever said it but since then, anytime the topic of hair comes up, she says it after anything I happen to say. She's not the only one I've ever heard this from either.

Now hear me out. I do understand that my hair is not as nappy as some, but make no mistake, it gets nappy. There are better things I could be doing with my $70 every other month than getting my hair relaxed. And since when do we measure our Blackness by how nappy our hair is or how often we straighten it? Am I any less Black because I relax mine every other month and you do yours every three weeks? And if that's the case, aren't you decreasing your Blackness by relaxing your hair in the first place? Why don't you go natural and sport an afro if nappiness proves Blackness. And since when is there are Blackness scorecard? Do you get 5 points for relaxing your hair every couple of weeks? 10 points for being dark skinned. 20 points if you were raised in the ghetto. Did I mention the woman who made the comment in the first place was married to a White man? Minus 5 points. I'm kidding! But you get the point that I'm trying to make.

And while we're on the topic, let me just throw it out there that who I date is a personal decision that has nothing to do with anyone else besides me and the guy I'm seeing. If I find you attractive and you ask me out I'm going. It's that simple. Am I attracted to lighter skinned men? Yes. Does it mean I have something against dark skinned men? No. There are people who really want to come down on me for that but I can't understand why. I see it as broadening my horizons, making our world a little more colorful. I just don't understand how some people see it as a betrayal to my Blackness. I've never dated an Asian man before does that mean I don't like Asians? No! And who's to say you're not being close-minded by only dating people that are the same race as you? Hmm... What happened? No comeback for that huh?

We go around calling each other brother and sister but if you were really my sister wouldn't you just want me to be happy? Would my boyfriend's skin tone really matter? Would how many times a year I visit the hair salon be that important? I'm sure there are enough people in this world who would stand in line to put us down, why do we have to do it to each other? How about we stop measuring nappiness and start measuring humanness? Instead of asking someone how often they relax their hair, ask them when was the last time they helped someone who was in need. How about you ask someone when was the last time they did something nice when no one was looking? With everything that's happening in our country, isn't there something better we could be doing than wanting people to prove themselves? Stop. Just stop.

I'm off my soap box now. Love, peace, and hair grease.